howie kaplan dot com

Iran's President Ahmadinejad addressed Columbia University on Monday, proving that even a strong man... that is, a strongman dictator... can look like he's simultaneously about to cry and sneeze.

From CNN:

Asked about widely documented government abuse of women and homosexuals in his country, Ahmadinejad said, "We don't have homosexuals" in Iran. "I don't know who told you we had it," he said.

As much as it pains me to say it, I agree with Ahmadinejad. There aren't any homosexuals in Iran, because if there were, they'd never let their leader leave the house dressed like a time-share salesman.

And by the way? There are gay Persians. Remember 300?
Honestly, I think I saw this guy in the last West Hollywood Pride parade.