... but if I want to waste my vote, I'll do what I always do and vote for the Democrats.
Apparently, I missed this one. It was important, too, because it would have helped me avoid this morning's awkwardness. I typed it up so no one will have to experience what I went through.
TO: EVERYONE
FROM: HOWIE KAPLAN
RE: PEOPLE IN YOUR YARD
- THE GAS MAN DOESN'T KNOCK. HE JUST LETS HIMSELF IN.
- IF YOU LOOK OUT INTO THE YARD AND SEE HIM PLAYING WITH YOUR DOG AND, WONDERING WHO THIS WEIRDO IS, YOU GO OUT IN YOUR MIS-MATCHED PAJAMAS BECAUSE LAST NIGHT YOU DIDN'T SHAKE OFF ENOUGH AND HAD PEE DRIPPINGS ALL OVER YOUR PANTS…
- ...HE WILL MAKE SMALL TALK WITH YOU INSTEAD OF READING THE DAMN METER AND LEAVING.
- APPARENTLY, THIS IS THE LAW.
- ALSO, DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT PICKING UP YOUR DOG'S SHIT WHERE THE ISN'T THAT RIGHT, GIRL? WHO'S A PRETTY GIRL? WHOSE DIRTY SHITS CAME OUT OF A PRETTY GIRL?
Says it better than I could....
mike huckabee is the only bass player in the united states to never get a blow job
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